Being Me is Hard

by - Monday, January 02, 2017

Being me is so hard. I've just realized about it recently.

This past couple of months, I've been extremely concerned about my skin. Even an itch will ticks me off. I have V E R Y sensitive skin that dries up so fast and scars that heal up so slow. I hate vegetables and fruits and that's probably one of the main reasons why my wounds took extra 10 years to heal completely compared to a normal person. I know its my own fault and I know that I'm not the one who should be complaining but I really can't help it. I am a picky eater ( I legit can't swallow foods that I dislike) and healthy foods are just not my cup of tea. And I hate myself for that. I bought and uses a lot of skin care products and those things are actually a great help. The only problem is..... those things ain't cheap :(

Spending money on skincare products be like...

Not to brag, but my face used to be blemish-free. My friends told me that and honestly, I am pretty proud and truly grateful for that. However, my happy life was destroyed once I've started working in an environment that are full of dust and other dirty stuffs. It causes my face to breakout. Thank god it's not severe. So to deal with that, I changed my face cleanser to Cetaphil because most review I've read stated that Cetaphil works wonderfully. I've decided to give it a try myself. Guess what? It D O E S N ' T do what I hope it does. All it does is making everything worse. Looks like I'm going to have to turn back to my old cleanser.

One thing that I hate about myself is the fact that I am super complicated. I even get frustrated of myself once in awhile. Do you know the feeling when you want something but you always do the things that make it even harder to get what you want?

It's weird saying this with my own mouth but I am also a perfectionist. I like everything to be organized and stays in order. I like to be the one who does the final editing of a group project in order to avoid feeling dissatisfied with the end product. It was even worse back then. When I was in primary and secondary school, I would rewrite an essay, notes etc if I wasn't pleased with my handwriting. I would always make sure that my handwriting was all the same size and height. Phew, it was tough.

I love everything that is mine too. I don't have any trouble to let things go but I hate it when my things get destroyed. I take care of my things like a baby. One of my friends even said that I was immature for cherishing my stuffs way too much. I can't blame her for hurting my feelings with those words. I am annoyed of myself too.

I hate it when people scribble on my books and I hate it even more when my papers are crumpled or folded.

I would often take my time checking the quality of a product that I wanted to buy before actually purchasing it. A little scratch, a tiny itsy-bitsy hole are just a NO. I always ask for a new set (the one that is still in the original packaging) instead of buying the displayed one. The sales assistant was probably annoyed of me too. Lol.

I don't know if being a perfectionist is a bad thing or it is actually the otherwise. But being a picky eater , a sensitive brat and a perfectionist isn't making my life any easier. I always have a high standard on everything.

If you are reading this, you will probably understand why I said being me is so hard.


4 Comment (s)

  1. i feel you. :)
    i do spend time checking quality of product that i gonna buy. hahhahaha

    and if i gonna buy something on9, i will spend a week to read all feedbacks and makesure the on9 seller is a really trusted seller :D